This unfaithful reporter could not believe her eyes when the train she was on pulled into the Cubao MRT station, that odious cesspool of human bad behavior.

People were lining the fuck up. And not in those half-hearted fake-ass semblances of order you get at ticket vending machines or fishball carts, but legit ruler-straight two-by-two arms-forward-rest kind of lines. 

Don’t get me wrong; the population overkill was still in full effect, and the lines went from the edge of the platform right up to the wall of the station, doubling back on itself. But I’m not about to fucking nitpick a miracle. 

The doors opened and people filed in. Hear that? Filed in. Nobody got elbowed in the face or the boob or the baby. What is more, instead of clustering around the train doors like, well, clusterfucks, those who were first in the train neatly made their way into the center of the car. A single tear slid down my cheek at the stunning display of basic logic. In fact, as the train closed its doors and started up again, there were significantly less cries of pain and curses. In fact, there were none.

In fair fucking Verona, I only saw this happen in Cubao. GMA-Kamuning was an ass-ugly riot. I interviewed (i.e. tapped on the shoulder and dully asked) a fellow lady commuter about what was going on. “Uh, may nakain ba sila?” I said, in an attempt to be funny. “Hindi naman.” she said, straight-faced. 

My interviewee (i.e. saleslady friend) said that at first the lines were only implemented on Mondays, and then someone saw how effective this newfangled super-innovative state-of-the-art ultramodern organizing system was, and proposed that it should be implemented every day. Thus, the queue was invented. Twelve years after the trains were built.

Now that’s all very nice and all, and mad props to the DOTC motherfuckers keeping things in check over at what must be the third-worldiest train station in Luzon. But I have a question. FILIPINO PEOPLE, Y U NOT DO DIS URSELF? Why do we need cops to step the fuck in and tell us to back the fuck up before we begin to comprehend the possibilities of natural order and basic respect? 

Drrrrr we not know.

Whatevs. Welcome to The Daily Tangina. We hope to continue this family-friendly service elsewhere as soon as we get our shit together, but in the meantime, magandang umaga, Missed Connections Manila!